39 Magical Harry Potter Jokes

39 Magical Harry Potter Jokes

Posted by Olli Octopus on 0 comments

These 39 magical Harry Potter jokes are guaranteed to cast a spell over every Harry Potter fan. You just won’t be able to stop laughing. Even Muggles can learn a thing or two and have a giggle...

  1. How do Harry Potter fans like their tea served? In a muggle, of course.

  2. Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter to Facebook? Because he only has followers, not friends.

  3. Why doesn't Voldemort have glasses? Nobody nose.

  4. Why can't Harry Potter tell apart his potions pot and his best mate? Because they're both cauldron (called Ron).

  5. My mate's recently lost his job as a wizard, he's going through a bad spell at the moment.

  6. How do you know if someone is a pureblood? Oh don't worry, they’ll tell you.

  7. Harry Potter fans are like: "I wanna go to Hogwarts!"
    Narnia fans are like: ”I wanna go to Narnia!”

    Hunger Games fans be like: “I’m good...”

  8. The first four Harry Potter books are quite light-hearted. The fifth though, that’s too Sirius.

  9. What did the golden snitch say when Harry Potter was itchy? Quidditching!

  10. How was Harry toilet trained? On Harry Potty.

  11. Why was Harry Potter sent to Dumbledor’s office? Because he was cursing in class.

  12. What do you call two Quidditch players who share a dorm? Broom-mates.

  13. How does Voldemort keep his breath fresh? Dementos.

  14. What’s the nicest thing you can say about Voldermort? At least he’s not nosey.

  15. Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad professor? Because he can’t control his pupils.

  16. Why does Voldemort love Nagini? Because she gives him lots of hisses.

  17. Harry Potter films were so good I gave them a perfect 9 ¾.

  18. What’s Harry’s favourite drink? A potter tea served in a muggle.

  19. What was Harry’s best subject at school? Spelling.

  20. Why did Harry leave the room? His mind was wandering and he needed a spell.

  21. How do Malfoys get into bed? They Slytherin.

  22. What's the most unrealistic thing about the Harry Potter books? A ginger with two friends.

  23. Why did Professor Snape sit on the fence? So you never know which side he’s on.

  24. How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash? With quit-itch.

  25. What happened to Harry in his teenage years? He became Hairy Potter.

  26. J.K. certainly spins a Rowling good tale.

  27. What Hogwarts master gets the blame for everything that goes wrong? Professor Snapegoat.

  28. What does Harry have that Voldemort doesn’t? A nose.

  29. Then, how does Voldemort smell? Terrible.

  30. Did you hear Harry and the Weasley’s went out drinking? Yep, they got rowling drunk.

  31. Why does Neville have trousers especially made? He has a longbottom.

  32. Why did Harry go to the doctors? To get a cream for his hogwarts.

  33. Which House won all the cross-country events? Hufflepuff of course.

  34. Harry: Why is Ravenclaws mascot an eagle? Hermoine: What should it be? Harry: Perhaps a raven?

  35. Hermione: “Knock knock.”
    Ron: “Who’s there?”

    Hermione: “To.”

    Ron: “ To who?”

    Hermione: “To whom.”

  36. The barman says, “We don’t serve time-travelers here.”
    Hermione walks into a pub with a Time-Turner.

  37. Do you know anyone who could teach me to play Quidditch? I’m sure Oliver Wood.

  38. Why is it when you ask anyone who their favourite Harry Potter character is, no one says Harry.

  39. Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road? Because Draco did.

At Yellow Octopus we’ve conjured up a cauldron full of online gifts to delight Harry Potter fans and have them gulping gargoyles. So be quick and snap them up these Harry Potter gifts and gadgets before they magically disappear...



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