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    Grow Your Own Girlfriend

    Grow the perfect girlfriend with this great gag gift

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    • Perfect gag gift for a mate

    • Grow the perfect girl within 72 hours

    • Yes, she will not nag!

    Estimated Delivery Times

    Standard shipping:
    3-8 Business Days
    Express shipping:
    1-2 Business Days

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    Looking for the girl of your dreams? Psst, want a girlfriend without the pesky dating, silly questions, nagging, jewelry and - gasp - mother-in-laws? With Grow A Girlfriend novelty toy, all you have to do is add water!


    • Perfect gag gift for a mate
    • Grow the perfect girl within 72 hours
    • Yes, she will not nag!


    1. Put your girlfriend in a jar or container full of clean water at room temperature to watch it start growing

    2. Please note that the water temperature should be between 59-95 °F or 15-35 °C

    3. Do not expect instant results as it takes up to 72 hours to fully expand

    4. Take it out of the water to watch it shrink back to its original size

    Additional Information

    Label No
    Case Colour No


    • Orders placed before 2pm AEST on a normal business day are dispatched the same-day.
    • All orders are dispatched from our Melbourne warehouse.

    • Yes, we deliver to PO Boxes!
    • Yes, pick-up is available at our store. Please select 'Click & Collect' at checkout and your order will be ready within 2 business hours.
      Our store address is: 244 Wickham Road, Moorabbin, Victoria 3189.

    • Please note that delivery times are calculated from the day of dispatch, not the day of ordering.


    3-8 business days.

    Please allow up to 2 weeks for delivery if you are in Northern Territory or non-Metro Western Australia.


    1-2 business days.

    Western Australia and Northern Territory Customers:
    Please allow additional days for delivery if you outside the Australia Post National Express Network.
    For customers in Perth, the Australia Post Express Network only covers the postcodes 6000-6005 and 6800-6899. For more details, click here.



    Order before 2pm on a business day and receive it the same day.

    Available only in Melbourne Metro areas within the M80 Ring Road and M3. For more details, click here.



    We ship to the following countries:

    Austria, Belarus, Belgium, Belize, Bermuda,  British Virgin Islands, Brunei, Canada, Cayman Islands, Costa Rica, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Gibraltar, Greece, Greenland, Guam, Guernsey, Haiti, Honduras, Hong Kong, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Isle of Man, Isreal, Italy, Japan, Jersey, Kuwait, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Macau SAR, Maldives, Netherlands, Netherlands Antilles, New Caledonia, New Zealand, Norfolk Island, Norway, Portugal, Singapore, South Korea, Sweden, Switzerland, United Kingdom, United Arab Emirates, USA, U.S. Outlying Islands, U.S. Virgin Islands, Vanuatu, Vatican City.



    We will happily provide you with a free return, replacement or refund if your product is faulty, incorrect, not as described, damaged, or simply unloved. Just contact us here so we can provide you with our free returns address.

    If you have had a change of heart, we can only accept your product if it’s in its original packaging and in resalable condition, we will also refund you fully for the cost of the returned item but not for the original shipping costs. If you require a refund for a damaged or faulty product, we will refund you fully for the cost of the item as well as the shipping charges incurred upon initial purchase.   



    We'll love to help! Please contact us here.

    18th Birthday Present Ideas

    18 birthdays are legendary. They have turned children into grown men, and grown men back into children. Let’s not even talk about the women, #wild #youngandfree.

    We have some 18th birthday present ideas to make a memorable and crazy birthday. But not too crazy, at 18 you can be tried as an adult. 

    Turning 18 is like when a truck turns into Optimus Prime, it’s a transformative time.  18th birthdays symbolise the move from the safety of the nest to the uncertainty of the real world. Tertiary study and work are on the cards. Speaking of cards, 18-year-olds can also gamble, drink and smoke. O.M.G!

    18th birthday presents can help these young adults meet that reality head on. What’s the hardest thing for 18-year-olds to handle? It’s not the challenge of driving alone, or even the responsibility of voting. It’s the early mornings. 

    Getting an 18-year-old out of bed can be like walking a brown bear that’s being fed Ambien through an IV while hibernating. We have the perfect gift that eliminates the chance of turning off their alarm and drifting back to la-la land. A Runaway Alarm Clock. When it goes off, it rolls away out of reach, forcing them out of bed. Yet they’re still dreary eyed and low on caffeine.

    Time for the world’s best legal drug, coffee. A ‘Prescription’ Coffee Mug or perhaps a ‘Do I Look Like A Freakin Morning Person?’ Giant Mug will put an extra pep in their step.

    Of course, we can’t forget to help them in their new part of their life. Drinking. Well, legally drinking. Stainless Steel Whiskey Rocks, a Fridge Magnet Bottle Opener, and a 50 Calibre Bullet Bottle Opener makes sure they do it with style.

    You can even give a gift that addresses both drinking and their entrance to the real world; a Graduation Brain Neuron Cell Fluffy Toy. It will serve as a good reminder they need to replace those brain cells for study and work that they lost drinking.

    Alternatively, you can take another path for your 18th birthday present ideas. A World Map Travel Laundry Bag.  It’s a not so subtle hint to start doing their own laundry or move out of home and explore the world. They are big boys and girls at 18 after all.

    18th birthday party ideas

    A Ferrari engine in a Datsun or Scarlett Johansson in a Nun’s outfit is like an 18th birthday party without decorations. They still function, but they’re not what they could be. Decorations have a powerful effect.

    On second thoughts, Scarlett Johansson in a nun outfit could be just fine… Anyway, the point is to make sure you choose the most fun 18th themes and birthday decorations.

    What’s the secret to a good party? Guests. A ‘Welcome to the Party’ Poster featuring Marx, Lenin and Stalin lets your guests know that the party is equally shared with them and they are to contribute and receive according to their ability and needs. Puns are always a fun way to introduce guests to an 18th birthday party.

    What’s the other secret to a great party? You guessed it, alcohol. Syringe Party Shooters and Alcohol Shot Guns are the most fun way to take ‘shots’. A Party Around the World drinking game will move things along and a Wheel of Mis-Fortune drinking game will finish the night with a bang.

    Speaking of finishing the night with a bang… some Dynamite Party Candles on the 18th birthday cake always go off like a bomb.

    Top off your 18th birthday ideas with unforgettable photos thanks to a Horse Head Mask and Borat Mankini. I’m sure Great Aunty Miriam would look delightful in it.