I Love My Penis Novelty Hand Sanitiser

Out of Stock
  • Ideal for the frequent fondler
  • Kills 99.9% of penis germs
  • Stylishly gift packaged
  • Hilarious novelty gift
  • Read More

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    Free shipping Over $99
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    $7.99 Standard shipping
    3-8 Business Days
    $16.99 Express shipping
    1-2 Business Days



    Self love is oh-so-important, but do you know someone who's got a little too much self love going on.... someone who loves their shlong long, long, long, LONG time? 

    I'm talking the kind of love that has them locked in a room for lengthy periods of time with nothing but a laptop and an internet connection. Yes, that kind of love. 

    Well, we've got the perfect gift for them.

    I Love My Penis Hand Sanitiser - for love that's hard to wash off. 

    Specially formulated to kill 99.99% of penis germs while leaving the user's hands feeling soft, moisturised and free of all penis-related (and non-penis-related) nasties, I Love My Penis Hand Sanitiser truly is the ultimate product for conscientious cock claspers everywhere.

    Their hands will be soft and clean and delightfully dirt and germ free... for about 5 seconds. But hey, better to have clean hands sometimes than not-at-all, hey? 

    Masturbatory maniacs, rejoice! I Love My Penis Hand Sanitiser is your answer to clean, moisturised, penis-germ-free hands. 


    • Fantastic for frequent fondlers
    • Marvellous for maniacal masturbators!
    • Kills 99.9% of penis germs!
    • Stylishly gift packaged
    • Giggle-worthy novelty gift 


    • Dimensions: 4 x 2 x 11 cms
    • Volume: 59 mls

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    Shipping & Returns

    ►  Standard Shipping (3-8 Business Days):
    for orders over $99.
    $7.99 Flat Rate for orders less than $99. 

    ►  Express Shipping (1-2 Business Days):
    $16.99 Flat Rate.


    ►  Same Day Delivery within Melbourne Metro
    $21.99 Flat Rate.

    ►  Same Day Dispatch
    Orders placed before 2pm AEST on a business day are dispatched the same day.

    ►  100 Days Money Back Guarantee
    Return any product within 100 days in its original packaging for a refund.

    ►  Haven't found the answers you seek? Head over to our FAQs page or our Shipping & Returns page.

    Talk to a real human

    (03) 8684 9079

    Monday - Friday, 9am - 6pm AEST

    Or come & visit our Melbourne retail store