Old Age Emergency Toilet Paper

Out of Stock
  • A miniature bog roll small enough to take everywhere
  • For gross old friends who have unfortunate accidents
  • A funny gag gift for milestone birthdays

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$8.99 Standard shipping
3-8 Business Days
$16.99 Express shipping
1-2 Business Days



Give your gross old friend the gift of emergency bowel-mishap-management with our Old Age Emergency Toilet Paper, fashioned from ass caressingly soft paper in a miniature size, perfect for poop problems and shitty times when one is on-the-go and has to go, and we don't mean leave, we mean number twos. This little roll will kick goals when your friend just can't hold it in any longer, which is what happens when you're old and full of shit.


  • Small enough for them to carry in their handbag or man bag
  • Big enough to wipe their bottom


  • Dimensions: 3 cms diameter
  • Material: Paper / cardboard

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Shipping & Returns

►  Standard Shipping (3-8 Business Days):
FREE for orders over $99
(within Australia).

$8.99 Flat Rate for orders less than $99. 

►  Express Shipping (1-2 Business Days):
$16.99 Flat Rate.


►  Same Day Delivery within Melbourne Metro
$21.99 Flat Rate.

►  Same Day Dispatch
Orders placed before 2pm AEST on a business day are dispatched the same day.

►  100 Days Money Back Guarantee
Return any product within 100 days in its original packaging for a refund.

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